[KINDLE] ❦ The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands ➚ Laura Schlessinger – Freeboooks.com



10 thoughts on “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

  1. says:

    My ex husband brought this book home from work, for no reason I read it.right before the divorce.


  2. says:

    After re reading this a second time, I lowered my rating from three to two stars and edited this review This book does have some very valuable reminders, but if you want to learn and apply the same useful tidibits without having to endure the verbal beating of women as a group, without being subject to a double standard, and without being left with the impression that the woman is what s wrong with every marriage conflict that has ever occurred since 1960, then read For Women Only instead My mind played a tug of war when I read this book Half of the time I said, Yes, you need to hear that and you need to do that The other half of the time I said, So, if I become a Stepford Wife who never burdens my husband with my needs, is very careful never to criticize him in any way or ask him to do anything around the house, and who is always willing to have sex at absolutely any moment, all my problems will be solved, and if I don t, I deserve to be cheated on or abandoned I think this tug of war resulted from a mixture of good points with bad points, from her one way emphasis on women s faults only , and from her failure to acknowledge that at least sometimes it s okay for a wife to be upset about something.anything her husband does or doesn t do The book itself was rather disorganized, specific on WHAT to do than HOW to do it, and consisting primarily of quotes form her talk show discussions coupled with e mails she received Though there is certainly truth in this book, it is harshly communicated and Dr Laura s broad brush sometimes ends up obscuring it Maybe the average reader would be inclined to see herself in the actions decried and to reform if Dr Laura did not seem to be saying that the woman is solely to blame any time a man forgets her birthday, refuses to mow the lawn, or has an affair Perhaps she s not really claiming men can do no wrong, and it s simply that the wrong men do doesn t happen to be the subject of this particular book Unfortunately, because she never acknowledges at any point that a woman ever has a valid reason to be upset with her husband for anything, she generally leaves the impression that men can do no wrong and that women are to blame for every marriage problem It would also have been less unnerving a book if she had ommitted phrases such as, Remember, without him you are a sorry excuse for a person Dr Laura rightly decries the double standard women often apply in their expectations towards men, but then she institutes a kind of double standard of her own Allow me to elaborate with examples If a woman takes a vacation without the kids and husband for some RR, that s ridiculous and selfish but if the husband leaves the kids and wife for a hunting trip, he s taking a well deserved break and she s a nag if she complains about it If a man doesn t find his wife attractive, he s probably justified in feeling that way, and she had better lose some weight, shave her legs, put on something sexy, and stop being a frump If a woman tells her husband she finds his beard unattractive and asks him to shave it, however, she s being emotionally abusive Women shouldn t expect men to guess what they want without a direct statement but women should be able to realize men are hurt even when those men don t express their feelings Women shouldn t expect their husbands to show interest, agree, and remain uncritical when they are talking because that s expecting them to behave like women but women should be expected to be ready to have sex at any moment, even though that s rather expecting them to behave like men Wives shouldn t feel that doing the laundry, cooking dinner, or taking care of the kids is an adequate way of expressing love because they re things she d be doing even if she were not married On the other hand, a woman is just plain wrong if she challenge s a husband when he says that his way of showing love is by going to work and earning money Wouldn t he ALSO be doing those things even if he wasn t married Yes, concedes Dr Laura, he would, but it s different, don t you see, because he would not be doing them with the same commitment, intent, sacrifice, and depth of passion And she would Even if she were single She d be folding his underwear and picking up his socks and cleaning up the hair he left in the sink with the same depth of passion It s okay for a husband who s in a band to accept a gig on Valentine s Day without so much as consulting his wife, but it s dead wrong for a stay at home mom to go out to dinner with her mom on an ordinary day of the week instead of being home to serve a hot meal for her husband It s selfish and wrong for a woman to work when she doesn t need the money and could be home with the kids but if a man volunteers to take on extra shifts at work for money the family doesn t actually need, it s the woman who is being the selfish one if she asks him not to volunteer and to spend time with the family instead.It s not that I necessarily disagree with all of Dr Laura s criticisms of women, it s just that I don t understand why the same standards don t apply to men What s good for the goose, it seems, is way too much to ask of the gander Now, I do give the book an okay two star rating rather than a didn t like it one star rating because as harsh as it is, there are truths in it that people don t often relate in our post feminist world In our world, the pendulum has swung a long way in the other direction, so that now many women fail to offer their husbands the very same respect, sacrifice, lack of criticism, and positive reinforcement they themselves expect as a matter of course We women have been conditioned to believe that to stroke an ego or to make an effort to get in the mood is somehow subservient rather than loving The book is really a wake up call to self examine and to become fully aware of how you are treating your mate Even for the good, respectful marriage, having this sort of inner reflection can make things even better As defensive as this sometimes made me feel, I find it does stick with me as a necessary if unpleasant reminder to check my words and actions She slaps women upside the head and says, Look how you re treating your man Treat him better There aren t a lot of people telling women that these days As an aside, the problem I have with a lot of these books that generalize about male female differences is that they assume my needs are of a particular nature because I am a woman, when, really, I d rather like many of these things they say a man needs ego stroking, even compliments about my accomplishments than my body, personal space, etc She also generalizes and assumes all men everywhere are doing all of the outdoor and car related chores and women are selfishly overlooking this contribution it doesn t seem to occur to her that it s possible that, even as a woman, I always take my own car in for repairs, that I usually trim the bushes, and that, before I asked my husband to get a lawn service, I frequently mowed the lawn She also seems to assume I want a lot of jewelry and that I d be willing to exchange sex for it Finally, a caveat about Dr Laura s sex advice i.e., have it whenever he wants it, whether you initially want to or not Of course it s good advice for a woman to be often willing and to try to get in the mood often However, what she fails to emphasize and what IS emphasized in the other book I recommended is that for men, frequent sex will be unfulfilling if it is not coupled with the sense that they are desired by and really pleasing their wives At one point, Dr Laura even equates a woman having sex when she doesn t want to with a husband going to work even on days he doesn t want to Few men want to feel their wives are agreeing to sex in the same spirit with which they agree to slug through a bad day at work.


  3. says:

    I really liked the no nonsense approach to this book Throughout the book, I kept thinking of other names she could ve titled this book Here are a few Stop being selfish you lousy wench You are not the center of the universe Duh, he s your husband Not a doormat First you were Bridezilla, now you are Wifezilla You re not very likable You re husband must be a saint Get a real life, soon please Change now or be single soon Are you mean or just stupid


  4. says:

    The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands is based on the premise that men are simple and rather stupid The thesis then, on that basis, is give him direct communication, respect, appreciation, food, and good lovin , and he ll do just about anything you wish foolish or not Dr Laura Schlessinger demeans men throughout the book, constantly noting that a man is inexorably dependent upon the approval, appreciation, and acceptance of the woman That may be true, but his self worth is and should be based on than that.The book also blames women for every marital ill real or imagined Woman are even blamed when men have affairs, view pornography, neglect their responsibilities at home, or abandon their families.I do have to admit that the book, and therefore Dr Laura, does have some good points about the damaging effects of the feminist movement Also, some of the advice about husbands is well taken, if taken and used in small doses.However, I lost all regard for the book in the chapter on marital sex Dr Laura argued that a wife should be expected to have sex when she doesn t want to just because he wants to This is because the wife expects him to go to work and earn money to support the family even on days he didn t feel like it Wow Dr Laura also noted that housekeeping and childrearing are not personal enough to repay a husband for his hard work However, she ignores the corollary that working and protecting are not personal enough to repay a wife for her work.In short, this book is overly simplistic, narrowly constructed, and over rated.


  5. says:

    I was given this book as a gift as I am getting married next month I am actually somewhat offended by the person who gave it to me Dr Laura s basic points are good respect your partner, communicate clearly, don t nag, etc , but her methods are enough to make me cringe This is 180 pages of her telling women to quit their jobs because nature intends for you to raise kids, not work and skirt their own needs in most cases for the sake of pleasing their husbands I m all for stay at home moms, but only if that did that as a CHOICEnot because nature intends for them to do that My fiance read part of it and agrees, it s deplorable This was painful to read.


  6. says:

    My sister in law recommended this book to me, and I recommend it to all wives in turn Dr Laura gives it to you straight and undiluted Although sometimes painful to swallow like a strong medicine rather than a poison , I have learned so much about how I can make my marriage stronger and be a better support to my husband thereby strengthening my family Her values coincide with my own beliefs on both a personal and spiritual level For instance, Dr Laura asserts that there are innate differences between men and women that should be respected and celebrated This echos what I believe as stated in The Family A Proclamation to the World that, Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose Dr Laura also really attacks the widespread societal beliefs that denigrate the nurturing roles of wife and mother, as well as demean the protector and provider roles that men play Again, The Family A Proclamation to the World explains my corresponding beliefs best when it states, By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners I am so thankful that there are people like Dr Laura who stand up for moral truth even when the world may disagree.


  7. says:

    I m actually only halfway through this, but it has already changed my attitude toward my husband and marriage I was somewhat skeptical starting this book, since I don t love listening to Dr Laura or anything But she really has a gift at uncovering people s motivations and showing them for what they really are It made me realize why I have been doing and not doing certain things with regard to my husband Most of these things were based on certain beliefs or attitudes that I didn t really realize I had until I read this book Now that I realize what these beliefs are I can go about changing them and I have already begun to I would recommend it to anyone who feels their marriage could use a boost Or anyone who wants to know how to interact better with their husband Now that I have finished the book, this is what I can say I learned from it If you are a woman who married a good man and you are unhappy in your marriage, you have the power to change that by treating your husband better Instead of asking why am I not getting what I want need out of this marriage ask the question, what can I be giving in this relationship Giving is the secret to getting Dr Laura gives a lot of concrete and simple ways to treat your husband properly I like that she emphasizes and celebrates the differences between men and women God made men the way they are and so who are we as women to expect them to be different, like us Instead, we should treat men as men and care for them in the way they need us to Then we will receive the things we need as women to be taken care of Man hating feminists will hate this book, but in my view it is just such women that have changed marriage for the worse I believe the feminist movement made a lot of positive changes in the world but I also believe that things have swung so far in the other direction that at times men are ridiculed, looked down upon, hated, etc., just for being their inherently masculine selves As Dr Laura says, women have been brought up with the notion of unisexuality, the sadly mistaken and distructive belief that men and women have no differencesWell, the fact is men and women are different physically, psychologically, motivationally, and tempermentally Ultimately, the well being of both men and women is maximized when acceptance, attention, and nurturance is given to what is innately different and special about men and women Now I m going to go try and change the destructive things I ve been doing in my marriage And now that I ve written a book I will go


  8. says:

    I really enjoyed this book It is not often you come across a New York time Best seller that promotes the value of marriage and the important role we have as husband and wife in a marriage She really talks about how society has become so feminisitic and men suffer because of it She talks about how women want equal rights as men however, they still want men to be the same that they always have been She talks about how in relationships we on certain levels think our husbands our responsible for our emotional well being and that they should be off all day slaying the dragon she calls it then we expect them to come home and take over what we do She talks about the different roles we have and how giving of ourselves and serving will make our marriage and us as women happy She really does say in the book to have a nice hot dinner ready for your husband when he gets home at the end of the day She says some women find this demeaning and refuse..but she also points out that we expect our husbands to go out to work every day and provide most the family income If we are expecting them to be gone working all day to provide for our family.shouldn t we wrap our arms around them at the end of the day and say welcome home, I apreciate all you do.here is a meal so you can know I much I love you and are great full for how your provide for our family I loved what she had to say on about this and always feel that I can improveand when it comes to my family I know that this is the most important job and role that I have so I am willing to read anything that will make my home a place where my husband wants to bebecause at the end of the day, he is my best friend and eternal companion.


  9. says:

    I read this for a book club and it was very different from what I had expected I was put off by the title and felt it was condescending toward men I quickly discovered that it was very different than my impression from the title I found Dr Laura to be extremely harsh and found it difficult to get through each page Ever several pages, there seemed to be one sentence that I completely, 100% agreed with But her delivery of the message is so abrasive I felt like she was trying to teach women to respect their husbands while at the same time disrespecting others To me, that is an entirely contradictory method of conveying a message I also felt like she often times contradicted herself She was very critical of the feminist movement which I felt was lost on me because I don t feel as if my generation was as surrounded in those messages as my mother s generation As a funny aside she attributes a quote to Gloria Steinem which is actually attributed to another author, Inrina Dunn I just thought it was funny that she criticized someone for a direct quote when it wasn t even the correct person Finally, I do think that there are people who will benefit from this book but I think she consistently misses out on addressing sincerity in your actions You can t just pretend to be interested in what your husband says You have to sincerely develop an interest in what your husband says I think if a two people in a troubled marriage were to follow her advice it doesn t mean everything would be fixed Of course, any help she gives to people is a positive thing I however, found her presentation of ideas to be distasteful.


  10. says:

    This book has really opened my eyes to my bad habits and mean behaviors towards my very loyal, loving and respectful husband Dr Laura is not for everyone, and some liberal in their approach and beliefs about dating are often offended I also find her hard to listen to on the radio at times because she is so straight to the point and candid, and at times jerky in how she talks to her listeners Be that as it may, she has pegged the female community She has pegged me Since I have begun my read, I am being kinder and appreciative towards Joel and as a result feel happier and thankful for all the dragons he slays and lays at my feet daily Today he went to buy two fans to make our house cooler He called to ask me if what he had purchased was correct Instead of getting all control freaky about doing this without me I bit my tongue and said Thank you so much I can t wait to have a breeze in our house, allbeit a warm breeze, but a breeze nonetheless I could hear him smile on the phone and say, I just want a happy wife Wow, that felt so much better than my bitchy behavior of let s call it yesteryear.


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The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands In Her Most Provocative Book Yet, Dr Laura Urgently Reminds Women That To Take Proper Care Of Their Husbands Is To Ensure Themselves The Happiness And Satisfaction They Yearn For In MarriageWomen Want To Be In Love, Get Married, And Live Happily Ever After Yet Disrespect For Men And Disregard For The Value, Feelings, And Needs Of Husbands Has Fast Become The Standard For Male Female Relations In America Those Two Attitudes Clash In Unfortunate Ways To Create Struggle And Strife In What Could Be A Beautiful RelationshipCountless Women Call Dr Laura, Unhappy In Their Marriages And Seemingly At A Loss To Understand The Incredible Power They Have Over Their Men To Create The Kind Of Home Life They Yearn For Now, In The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands, Dr Laura Shows You With Real Life Examples And Real Life Solutions How To Wield That Power To Attain All The Sexual Pleasure, Intimacy, Love, Joy, And Peace You Want In Your LifeDr Laura S Simple Principles Have Changed The Lives Of Millions Now They Can Change Yours